I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
