dude i'm inner monologue high
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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