Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The uberlube is also flammable
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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