Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
