new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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