1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
