you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
