dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
