All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
