omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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