Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
