You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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