i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
