You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
