So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
