Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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