She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
