weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he fucked my hip out of place.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
