Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
