last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
