I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
