My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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