Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
