i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
