I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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