people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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