You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
