He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
