Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
