My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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