Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
