Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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