need another drink. this is the easiest way
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
