I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
