She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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