Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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