your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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