I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
