i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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