So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
