Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
