I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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