I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I supernannyed him into submission
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
