whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
