Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
