Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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