Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
