I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
