My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
