just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
