Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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